Signs

On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."

*Sign over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

*At a proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in."

*On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

*On a Plumbers truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

*Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

*At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

*On a plastic surgeon's office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

*At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

*On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

*In a nonsmoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

*On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

*At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

*On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

*In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

*On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

*At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

*Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

*In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

*At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

*In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry .. Come on in and get fed up."

*In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

*At a propane filling station, "Tank heaven for little grills."

*And don't forget the sign at a Chicago radiator shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."